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Motherhood over 40
Beginning Motherhood in your 40’s has become a new trend. Never before in our history has starting a family and having a baby later in life become so normal.
With many women’s biological clocks now not starting to tick until they are over 35 and sometimes even over the age of 40, many women are now deciding to have a midlife pregnancy.
However, deciding to have a baby and deciding to begin motherhood over 40 is a big decision and many women will wonder if it is too late, if they are too old, or if it is their heart or head talking.
With many women’s biological clocks now not starting to tick until they are over 35 and sometimes even over the age of 40, many women are now deciding to have a midlife pregnancy.
However, deciding to have a baby and deciding to begin motherhood over 40 is a big decision and many women will wonder if it is too late, if they are too old, or if it is their heart or head talking.
Having a baby and being pregnant over 40
There are many reasons why a woman may decide to have a baby over the age of 40: it could be by choice, an accident, or because they are in a new relationship, and want to have a baby with their new partner.
Whichever way you look at it, more and more women are swapping a mid life crisis, for a midlife pregnancy.
There are of course lots of benefits to being an older parent, such as being financial secure, being older and wiser, and really knowing what you want out of life. Not to mention, being more patient, having more time, and being a whole lot worldlier.
Whilst you will mostly only ever hear negatives, or scare tactic campaigns, when you talk about having a baby over forty. Be aware that plenty of women over forty have normal, healthy, and safe pregnancies, and give birth to happy, healthy, normal babies every day.
In saying that, there are many concerns that women have when contemplating having a child over the age of forty. Two issues that come straight to mind are “Am I healthy enough?” and, “What will people think?” It is common for women in this age group to wonder whether or not they will have the physical strength, and stamina to carry a child throughout nine months of pregnancy, and beyond. And wonder whether or not they will have the energy to keep up with their children once they are mobile. Add concerns about their own health, and mortality, and it can leave them wondering if they are being selfish having a child now, knowing they are entering a time in their life, when they are not at their physical peak.
When it comes to having babies, it really is more about the health of the women, not their age that is the real issue. A forty year old active woman who looks after her diet, and leads a healthy lifestyle, may have a much less complicated pregnancy and birth, then a woman half her age that leads an unhealthy lifestyle, is overweight, and inactive. The best thing for an older woman to do is to improve her health and fitness before her child is born. This may include losing any excess weight, and having a thorough medical examination to ensure they are as healthy as they can be, both now, and in the future.
Some women may also worry about people mistaking them for the child’s grandmother. Whilst there is a possibility that this may happen, you have to think, does it really matter? Do you see fifty year old men, deciding to stop dating twenty three year old women; just because somebody might accidentally think she is her daughter? No, of course not! And why do you think that is the case? Because they don’t care what other people think. They have realised that they need to do what makes them happy no matter what other people’s opinions might be. We all have the ability and the right to make personal choices and the desire to have a baby is no different at forty as it is at twenty. The great thing about being in your forties though, is you usually care a lot less about what people think then you did a decade ago, and are usually capable of arming yourself with plenty of witty comebacks
As older couples have been child-free for many years, and have become set in their ways, they may wonder about their ability to become more flexible, and make compromises once a child arrives. What you have to remember, is, that all parents have to learn to be flexible and make compromises. Just the same way you do when you enter into a marriage. All parents have days when they will get frustrated, and be totally exhausted. No matter what age they are.
As a parent there will always be days, when you just can’t get through your child’s ten hour marathon of fun, in one piece, and will simply fall into a heap. Toddlers can wear you out, no matter how fit you are. As a parent you just have to be realistic about what you can, and can’t achieve in a day, and try to re-evaluate your life, so you have a better work life balance. And this is the scenario for all new parents, regardless of age.
A couple of final issues to consider if you are member of the ‘sandwich generation’ are; how you will cope if you are caught between balancing the care of your own children, with the care of your own aging, or frail parents, and who you may want to be the guardians of your children if the worst happened. As most couples look to their parents as guardians, or for extra assistance with childrearing, they may need to look farther afield if their parents are at a stage where they will need extra help, rather than offering assistance. Whilst there are negatives and positives to having a baby later in life, at the end of the day, you have to make a decision on what is going to make you, and your partner happy now, and in the future. No matter how that future may, or may not pan out.
There are many reasons why a woman may decide to have a baby over the age of 40: it could be by choice, an accident, or because they are in a new relationship, and want to have a baby with their new partner.
Whichever way you look at it, more and more women are swapping a mid life crisis, for a midlife pregnancy.
There are of course lots of benefits to being an older parent, such as being financial secure, being older and wiser, and really knowing what you want out of life. Not to mention, being more patient, having more time, and being a whole lot worldlier.
Whilst you will mostly only ever hear negatives, or scare tactic campaigns, when you talk about having a baby over forty. Be aware that plenty of women over forty have normal, healthy, and safe pregnancies, and give birth to happy, healthy, normal babies every day.
In saying that, there are many concerns that women have when contemplating having a child over the age of forty. Two issues that come straight to mind are “Am I healthy enough?” and, “What will people think?” It is common for women in this age group to wonder whether or not they will have the physical strength, and stamina to carry a child throughout nine months of pregnancy, and beyond. And wonder whether or not they will have the energy to keep up with their children once they are mobile. Add concerns about their own health, and mortality, and it can leave them wondering if they are being selfish having a child now, knowing they are entering a time in their life, when they are not at their physical peak.
When it comes to having babies, it really is more about the health of the women, not their age that is the real issue. A forty year old active woman who looks after her diet, and leads a healthy lifestyle, may have a much less complicated pregnancy and birth, then a woman half her age that leads an unhealthy lifestyle, is overweight, and inactive. The best thing for an older woman to do is to improve her health and fitness before her child is born. This may include losing any excess weight, and having a thorough medical examination to ensure they are as healthy as they can be, both now, and in the future.
Some women may also worry about people mistaking them for the child’s grandmother. Whilst there is a possibility that this may happen, you have to think, does it really matter? Do you see fifty year old men, deciding to stop dating twenty three year old women; just because somebody might accidentally think she is her daughter? No, of course not! And why do you think that is the case? Because they don’t care what other people think. They have realised that they need to do what makes them happy no matter what other people’s opinions might be. We all have the ability and the right to make personal choices and the desire to have a baby is no different at forty as it is at twenty. The great thing about being in your forties though, is you usually care a lot less about what people think then you did a decade ago, and are usually capable of arming yourself with plenty of witty comebacks
As older couples have been child-
As a parent there will always be days, when you just can’t get through your child’s ten hour marathon of fun, in one piece, and will simply fall into a heap. Toddlers can wear you out, no matter how fit you are. As a parent you just have to be realistic about what you can, and can’t achieve in a day, and try to re-
A couple of final issues to consider if you are member of the ‘sandwich generation’ are; how you will cope if you are caught between balancing the care of your own children, with the care of your own aging, or frail parents, and who you may want to be the guardians of your children if the worst happened. As most couples look to their parents as guardians, or for extra assistance with childrearing, they may need to look farther afield if their parents are at a stage where they will need extra help, rather than offering assistance. Whilst there are negatives and positives to having a baby later in life, at the end of the day, you have to make a decision on what is going to make you, and your partner happy now, and in the future. No matter how that future may, or may not pan out.
Did you have a baby later in life or are you contemplating whether or not to have a baby now?
Share your thoughts and feelings with us.
Share your thoughts and feelings with us.
