Fors and Against

® ©

Baby, Preconception, Fertility, Pregnancy, Birth, Mum, Dad, Mum to be, Child, Toddler, Infant, Parent, Family, Kids, Toys, Activities, Baby Clothes, Nursery

Preconception
Pregnancy
Birth
New Mum
Baby Activities

Toddler
Play & Learn
Kids Parties
Mums Corner
Beauty

Bookmark!

Deciding to have a baby – the fors and against list

If you are thinking about having a baby and are like me, you probably have a million doubts and questions about whether or not having a baby is the right thing for you. Deciding whether or not to have a baby, particularly once you are in your late 30’s or into your 40’s can be even more difficult as you have probably become set in your ways, and have created a pretty nice little life for yourself that you are not sure will suit a baby.

Before I started seriously thinking about having a baby, I had a pretty standard for and against list that I would quote to my clucky girlfriends at a moment’s notice. Have a look and see if it seems familiar to you.

The positives and negatives of having a baby – My fors and against list

Against - having a baby:

· Pregnancy (the sickness, the rules, gaining weight and the endless tests);

· Labour, Pain, pain and more pain (ouch);

· Giving up drinking and socialising (boring);

· Finances (cost to be pregnant, raising the child, time off work and over the long term);

· Schools (child care, high school, university – will it ever end);

· Running around all day Saturday driving to sport and dance classes;

· Making Easter hat parades at 11pm as someone forgot to tell you they needed it tomorrow;

· No more freedom to do things when we want;

· No more sleep, sleep ins, or hangovers;

· Spending the weekend at parks and McDonalds parties;

· No overseas travel, no backpacking, no weekends away;

· No concerts or sitting at the pub watching a band;

· Babysitter required to do ‘everything’;

· Having to pack a million bags to do ‘anything’;

· Worrying about someone all the time (their safety in this crazy world);

· Living in mess and chaos;

· Having someone reliant on you 24/7;

· Dealing with a baby, a toddler, a teenager and all their behaviours and problems;

· Are we emotionally or physically ready?; and

· A thousand other reasons that I don’t have time to go through with you right now, but I am sure you have thought of them too.

For - having a baby

· Will we regret it?

Are you struggling to make up your mind about whether or not you want to have a baby? Share your thoughts, fears and questions with us. We would love to hear from you...

What have some of our readers had to say about their decision about whether or not to have a baby?

I’m 35 next month, and the clock is literally ticking. I think I want kids, but at the same time I love my job, my friends, my freedom and my disposable income. I just don’t know what to do. Kazza - Greenbank, QLD

I change my mind about kids every other week. I see my friends with kids, and they always seem tired and stressed and only complain about their lives. It makes me wonder if I want to go through all that, but at the same time, there is a part of me that wants to be a mother. Lisa - Windsor, NSW

I know it sounds selfish and stupid, but whilst the thought of a baby is nice, I don’t want to get fat, and go through all of that pain and suffering. Frankly being pregnant, going into labour and raising a small child scares the living day lights out of me. Peta - Gordonvale, QLD

All my friends have toddlers now and I wonder if I should be next. I just don’t know, it is just such a hard decision. What if I have a baby and regret it, but what if I don’t and I regret it. I wish someone could tell me what to do. Michelle - Briar Hill, VIC

This list just cracked me up. It is just so true. I agree with it all. I ask myself a thousand questions, come up with all the negatives, but at the same time that nagging little feeling keeps me up at night. Will I regret it if I don’t have a baby?. Jade - Brentwood, WA

a young woman playing chess and deciding