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Arsenic Hour or the Witching Hour -
The time when newborn babies just aren’t happy
You may wonder what the definition or meaning of arsenic hour is. Well it is the time of the day, usually in the afternoon when your newborn baby is really unhappy and just won’t settle or stop crying, no matter what you do.
Some people call it arsenic hour, others the witching hour, but no matter what you call it, arsenic hour is a very long and stressful time for both mum and baby.
For some really useful tips and advice on coping with arsenic hour and ways to settle your baby and keep yourself sane, read below.
Some people call it arsenic hour, others the witching hour, but no matter what you call it, arsenic hour is a very long and stressful time for both mum and baby.
For some really useful tips and advice on coping with arsenic hour and ways to settle your baby and keep yourself sane, read below.
Arsenic hour or witching hour - a newborns worst time of day. Tips, definition and advice
After a long day, when your wits are almost at their end and you are about to begin work on the busiest part of your day, your previously somewhat placid and contented baby can somehow sense this, and can seemingly, at the switch of some magic button turn from the apple of your eye into some kind of loud and scary banshee creature. Shattering not only the peace, but your mind!
Arsenic hour, once known to our Grandmothers as the witching hour, is the dark and somewhat evil hours that most mothers of young children experience between around 4 to 7pm each afternoon. Arsenic hour is the time of the day when your baby has no idea what it wants, and all the parenting techniques you have read and memorised, no longer seem to work.
When a baby cries at ten in the morning it is easier to cope, as you have the whole day ahead of you, but when your husband is due through the door in ten minutes and you haven’t even started dinner, it can be much harder to cope. During this time it is quite easy for an already tired and stressed mother to lose her cool and start crying or screaming to the heavens for relief. Many of us may even find ourselves imagining how much harm could really come to their ‘now possessed’ babies if they were to throw them out of a second story window. (Well only just for a few minutes).
Whilst most mothers will occasionally experience arsenic hour right through their child’s younger years, it usually peaks during the first 4 to 12 weeks of your baby’s life. And can be quite a shock to a new mother who has been led into a false sense of security during their babies first seemingly peaceful few weeks of life. Many people and doctors describe this behaviour as ‘colic, however, it is in fact simply one of those unsettled parts of your baby’s day and just a part of their growth and development. You may not believe it now, but they usually do grow out of it, by about the fifth month.
Now whilst you are probably not yet able to down a glass or two of wine to help you get through these hours of madness, and you will probably find that it is very difficult to stop or delay arsenic hour, we do have a few tips and some advice to try and keep you sane during the worst part of those inevitable long and tiring days and nights.
· Invest in an answering machine or take the phone off the hook. Last thing you need is Mum ringing for a long chat, or a even worse a telemarketer calling right in the middle of bath time or two minutes after you have finally settled your newborn;
· Let your baby feed more often. When breastfeeding sometimes your milk supply slows down during the day, so offer your baby an extra breastfeed or even a half feed to help them settle. Most babies like to cluster feed at this time of day, so it is not unreasonable to breastfeed your baby twice as often during this period. Even bottle fed babies can be offered a few extra gulps of warm milk and a cuddle to help them feel more settled;
· If your baby usually sleeps at this time of day or is due for a nap, realise that sometimes they try to push through the nap or may only nap for 20 to 40 minutes. Physiologically it is hardest for humans to fall asleep between 4pm and 6pm. And this obviously applies to the little ones too.
· Watch out for overstimulation. Your baby has been learning and absorbing sights and sounds all day. Imagine restoring sight and hearing to someone who has lived without these senses all their lives and then throwing them into the middle of a large city and you might have an understanding of what life is like for a small child. It can be hard keeping the house quiet at this time of day as you are usually trying to cook dinner, greet home your partner and maybe trying to catch up the news. But try to make your house more day spa and less family fun house, and give your baby a quiet place and activity to keep them amused whilst you busy yourself. Keep the lights dimmed and maybe just read stories or listen to relaxing music;
· Try to get as much as you can done earlier in the day, get dinner started early, so it is only a matter of heating it up or throwing already chopped vegies in a pan at tea time. Keep a few emergency meals in the freezer, like left over spaghetti bolognaise or a TV dinner or two. And remember having baked beans on toast or scrambled eggs for dinner occasionally will not kill the family;
· Keep things simple. Don’t use this time of day to make calls, check your email, or have friends drop in for a coffee. Keep to the basics; Bath, dinner and quiet comfort time;
· Remind dad to keep himself in check when he gets home, as often a big, loud and excited daddy bounding through the door ready to enthusiastically coo and throw their little bundles into the air, can unsettle an already tired child. Maybe dad can bath baby or read them a story as part of their together time. Keep the rough housing for the weekends;
· Keep the TV off, catch up with the ABC news at 7pm, or the late night news instead;
· Try carrying your baby around in a sling to keep them close to you, and let them relax with the rocking motion. Some mums keep a bouncer, rocker or pram in the kitchen with them, which can be rocked and lets their baby feel close to them. I used to wheel the bassinette into the kitchen, dim the lights, put on cafe music and give my little one a little soft toy to chew on whilst I worked;
· As tempting as it is to use your babies afternoon nap as a chance to catch up on the housework, try to relax instead. Sit down and have a cup of tea and read a magazine, even if it is just for a little while. Having a rest will help give you have the energy to get through the hours ahead;
· If you are out for the day, get home by 4.00pm, so you are not rushing to get baths run, dogs fed and dinner started. Give yourself time to get organised. And have plenty of time to give to your baby if needed;
· Make sure you go to the toilet, have a drink and a snack before the known crazy period is about to start. There is nothing worse than dealing with a crying baby whilst your blood sugar plummets and your bladder is about to explode. I have sat on the loo breastfeeding more than once;
· Get out of the house. Take baby for a walk in the pram. Wander around the garden pointing to birds and flowers. Or if it gets really bad, take a trip around the block in the car. Crying never seems as loud outside;
· Do the ‘has to sleep mantra’. Carry your baby around and give them a pat, repeat to yourself over and over. “All babies have to sleep eventually”;
· Give your baby to someone else. A fresh set of arms can do the trick. Or if no one is home, put your baby in a safe place, race outside, scream, jump up and down, come back in, push the button on the kettle, wash your face with cold water, and think about how frightening the world is for a tiny baby. Remember they don’t want to feel like this and are sad, confused and alone too. Your mothering instinct will shortly take over and you will be ready for round two;
· Be prepared to try anything and everything, to keep your baby happy and calm during this period;
· Be kind to yourself and be realistic. Your baby is going to be unsettled and generally not cooperate at this time of day. Put the routines away for a couple of hours;
· Keep a diary; knowing what time the unsettled period is due to start and possibly stop can help you get through. Having a goal as to when ‘it’ may be over, can help you plan enough activities to get you both through, and
· Realise that these hours are their hours. Know that no matter what you do, it is the time of the day, when you will probably have to put everything else aside, just to cuddle, hold and feed your baby and wait for the unsettled period to pass. Just accepting that you have to take time out just to sit with them quietly and give them some quiet attention can make it feel less stressful for you. I have come to realise that ‘my’ time is ‘after’ my daughter goes to bed at night. Before that I am ‘Mummy’.
Whilst at the time ‘arsenic hour’ can seem endless, and can make you feel like you are losing both your mind and your soul, be confident that it won’t last forever. And try to always remember that your newborn baby is going through this with you too.
They love you and only want to feel happy, loved and safe too! (They really don’t want to drive you mad). As crazy as it seems now, this is pretty normal behaviour and doesn’t mean that you are a bad mother. Honestly, no-one really knows what to do. Especially during arsenic hour.
For more crying and settling tips visit: http://www.babyboat.com.au/babycrying.html
